[This was around 13 years ago]

I had just arrived back into town, having spent 2 months in the countryside without seeing a single soul.

I'd stayed in a house which an acquaintance had left unlocked. He lived with a strange sense of trust; he didn't bother to lock up his home even when he'd go traveling.

When I notified him that I'd camped in there, he was unfazed. He felt my presence would give the impression the house wasn’t open for random squatters, and it would allow him to extend his overseas trip.

My food budget for these 2 months had been 20 dollars. I survived on black tea, pancakes and a bit of butter. I ate one pancake mid-morning and two in the evening. The pancakes were made by mixing water with the cheapest flour I could find, and I drank lots of tea.

The stay had served its purpose: I'd taken a beating from my thoughts & feelings, written poems, edited my other book, and chopped wood everyday in complete solitude.

But after my stint in the country-side, it was refreshing to be back in civilization. I liked the feeling of walking into a crowd of people after having spent extended time on my own.

I took a seat on a bench near a cafe, took out my last pancake, stared at it for a while, and proceeded to consume it. I had no idea where my next meal was going to come from because I was done with the soup-van situation by now. I would no longer put myself at physical risk with crazed junkies attacking me.

I, however, was feeling in sync with everything around me in this moment.

In this flow state, a girl decided to take a seat right next to me. I said hi, and a fun conversation followed.

Can’t recall for how long we spoke, but at some point her friend arrived at the cafe, and she had to leave. But just as she was heading off, she turned around and said: “You reminded me of someone throughout our conversation. I just realized it's the main character from The Stranger.

[A few years later, scrolling through this book by Albert Camus I realized there were certain similarities with that character, but I wasn’t as detached; maybe I had changed by this point? This was around the time someone else would refer to me as the character from The Alchemist.

It’s funny to me that over the years people affectionately nicknamed me Morpheus, Merlin, and so on. Although, I was just being myself, to them I represented some archetype.]

After the girl departed with her friend, I sat in relaxed contemplation for a few minutes. As I began to wonder where to head to next, I had the distinct feeling I should go to the hostel I'd stayed in last year.

Since the girl and I had spoken a lot about intuition, I decided that I should stop questioning my notions and make my way towards the hostel.

As I walked about half way there, I spotted someone I knew on the other side of the street: It was Rahim, the Assistant Manager of the hostel. It had been a while since we’d crossed paths.

We hugged, and as usual, the conversation got philosophical. Rahim was intensely into Nietzsche! Although I hadn’t read any of his works, I found Rahim's experiences through his Nietzschean sessions deeply relatable.

My daily life was already a spiritual cauldron;. it's probably why I was less inclined to read books, and unpack my own experiences by writing about it.

At some point through our catchup, when we finally traversed into practical matters, I enquired about how things were at the hostel? He responded by saying that he'd been at constant logger heads with the Senior Manager, and that he was planning to quit.

Then he added: “Hey, let me run something by you..

Alice (the Manager) wants me to take care of the entertainment at the hostel for the summer. I don't want to do it, and I was about to give the job to one of the backpacker’s earlier, but he wasn’t around.

If I employ the backpacker, Alice will fight me on it; however, if you’re interested, I can put you in charge of the entertainment. She likes you, so I think I can get away with this plan.

Oh, and I can swap your hours for accommodation if you like as well?”

I mean, I didn't need to say much; this had literally fallen into my lap. Running the entertainment sounded like a good deal, as I didn’t have to be answerable to anyone in particular.

Besides, I had been seeking a little challenge like this.

It was a large hostel and peeps could get pretty rowdy. I felt I needed to get out of the introverted mode, get as social as I can while engaging larger crowds.

I decided to accept his offer.

Rahim was thrilled! As a thanks, he brought me dinner that night. It should’ve been the other way around, but I wasn't going deny myself a meal at his favorite seafood restaurant.

I moved to the hostel and lived there for close to a year. As part of my gig, I'd cook pancakes, organize & cook the bbq, run the trivia night, pool competition, and take care of movie/pizza night's.

I survived the entire time without a dollar in my pocket.

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The previous time around

When I had stayed at this hostel previously (while working at the bakery), it had been a confronting social experience to begin with — I didn’t know how to get comfortable around groups of people, even as a guest.

But after a couple of socially awkward weeks passed, I had an interesting idea, (although unintended in its final outcome) which led to a significant change.

At the end of our work day at the bakery, we used to throw away a large amount of unsold bread and pastries. I felt awful about the food wastage, so I said to the Manager that I would take the wares home instead.

I would hence return to the hostel with multiple bags full of food, quietly leave it on the kitchen table, sit at a distance, and watch people consume the treats. I'd hear people ask around about who this mysterious soul was, that kept dropping off all this free food.

Although I tried to keep it on the low, it didn't last very long. Someone eventually found out, told others, and I quickly became one of the most sought after people on the hostel’s social ladder.

I inadvertently decoded something about social dynamics: Despite not having the ability to break the ice or win over a group, by giving them something they highly valued, I altered the pecking order.

I was still playing within my comfort zone, but I made them come to me instead. The overly alpha characters at the hostel were a bit confused by my sudden rise to popularity. Yet, even they couldn’t bite the hand that was feeding them.

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Now, my 2nd (and current) stint at the hostel didn't offer me any concessions of social credibility through bakery food donations. It, instead, required me to get out of my comfort zone and proactively engage people.

I was still very introverted, so having to engage with 150 or more people under one roof was certainly a challenge.

The key, I found, was to be organized in advance with the minute details of the events I'd run, and to be on top of those tasks whilst running them. This allowed me to feel more relaxed and spontaneous in my interactions with a large group.

But there were idiots who were always testing you, especially dudes. When you're in charge of something in any kind of set-up, they're invariably trying to knock you down a notch. Mostly it was in good fun, but sometimes it was insecurity and one-upsmanship.

I remember at the end of the Pool competition one evening, the winner (who was obviously very good) put his prize on the line and challenged me to beat him. For some reason he felt he could score some intangible points by beating the guy who ran the competition.

Of course, on any other occasion he would have likely won, but after couple of drinks on this night, I was in that perfect 'no thought' zone.

He was also quite cocky, and made the mistake of letting me break. I was feeling so relaxed that my arm sweetly followed my eyes, and I potted 2 spots with the break. 4 shots later, I'd cleaned up all but one of the spots.

He got a single shot, which now, he missed because he was flustered. In the words of Begbie from Trainspotting: 'And after that, the game was mine.'

I potted the final spot, and the black right after it.

It was quite apt that my opponent was from Glasgow. I didn't give him the pleasure of knowing I'd never played this well before. I shook his hand like this was a normal game for me, and calmly walked away.

There were so many interesting lessons I learned about social dynamics in this hostel.

When I wasn't running the activities, I used to generally keep to myself. But through maintaining a less conspicuous presence outside official affairs, it created this effect where, people wanted to spend more time with me.

I'd often get invited by different cliques to go out with them at night, but I’d always decline the initial offer. I did so for a couple of reasons: One, I didn't have any money (no one else knew this), and two, I realized the value of not going out with any group at the start of the night.

This way, when I’d drop by the venue a few hours later, I’d get a huge welcome from all the different groups, and people would insist on buying me drinks.

I didn't have much from a material point of view, but I did have social currency that I used well. Being naturally observant, however, it was interesting to me what percentages of intrigue, inebriation, and hierarchy played a part in this?

I knew it was noticeable to others that the receptionists employed at the hostel (who were all quite gorgeous) treated me differently to the others who lived there. I never completely understood why they were so fond of me, but the flow on effect was that I had a different value in the eyes of travelers, even before I'd say a word to them.

I feel like I got away with a lot of situations at this hostel that just would not have been possible elsewhere.

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But none of the social perks altered the challenging landscape of the material things I required in my time here.

Food was one of those things I had to very quickly figure out, and that's where hosting the BBQ came to my rescue.

I had to to purchase a large but fixed amount of burgers, sausages and bread for hosting the event every week, so I asked the butcher to throw in some extra sausages & burgers with every purchase. 

I fully expected him to say no, but he was surprisingly open to my request. Since nobody else purchased such a large supply week to week, the extra wares were his way of keeping me from going to his competitors. It allowed me to put aside the extra food as my ration during the week.

To turn sausages and burgers into consistently palatable meals, I would use random left-over sauces and condiments from the free-shelf (things others would leave behind). With the mixing and matching of always odd ingredients, I learnt to make decent flavors from strange combinations.

Every now and again, I would also request other broke travelers to dump their food bags on the table. I'd then combine everyone's ingredients to prepare a meal that would certainly end up better than any one of their individual bland meals.

This creative community cooking allowed us all to enjoy something hearty, and the shared moment was comforting for those that were away from their loved ones.

These behaviors ended up as important tools in my life in years to come — especially while building products under a constraint of resources.

All the material resources I needed in my time at the hostel had to come via creative navigation and bending of rules. Even to wash & dry my clothes I had to find gaps in the system.

I'd get provided with a bag of marked coins to run the Pool competition. These were used by the hostel to track how much the Pool tables got used every week.

To my luck they happened to be the same tokens which were used for tracking the washing & drying machines. I would hold onto 4 of these tokens every week from game night, and then use them to wash my clothes.

The only thing I couldn’t acquire without money was a deodorant. I suffered from pretty bad allergies, so I'd find abandoned shopping carts from car parks and return them back for spare coins to buy my specific brand of roll-on.

Yet, with this need for resourcefulness in every aspect of life, the time spent at the hostel wasn’t just about survival. There was a parallel journey of experiencing growing pains as young man.

It was deeply challenging being thrown into a social melting pot, where the characters changed so rapidly that I remained the only constant — resetting and restarting relationships with new groups of people, while learning how not to be attached.

There was also a tough spiritual battle within myself, through a recognition of what I was not in relation to society. There was a constant feeling of inner alienation like I was beamed down from a different planet.

But most importantly, there was an equalizer of sorts: Of experiencing genuine love from a group of people I met here, who bonded like a family from all across the world.

The experiences and people encountered will certainly deserve stories in a book some day. The combination of transience, youth, and openness to explore among a group of people meant, I was at the right time in the right place.

Who would've thought? A conversation with a girl about intuition on a bench, would lead me to connect with so many wonderful souls at this hostel, creating the most unexpected 'summer of my life'.

I entered here as a boy, but by the time I moved on, I had bridged the gap towards becoming a man.